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Monday, February 20th 2012

3:58 AM

The Babes are thrilled to welcome guest blogger Colin Campbell




I’ve been trying this for years and always failed miserably. So, here’s a question that should cause some debate. What exactly is COOL? Apart from Yorkshire in February, which isn’t so much cool as bloody cold. Brass-monkey weather. (Google it.) When it comes to the movies however there are plenty of examples, starting with the undisputed king of cool, Steve McQueen.


McQueen earned that title with a hat trick of performances in three smash hit films. First up he out-cooled the other six in The Magnificent Seven. Riding shotgun on a hearse set the scene. Few words. Not many actions. Just fiddling with his hat or checking the load of his shotgun. He stole the movie from Yul Brynner. Then there was the aptly named cooler king in The Great Escape. Sitting with his back to the wall as he bounced a ball into his baseball glove. Classic. Not to mention the motorbike jump. The role that cemented him as an icon of cool though was the rogue cop in Bullitt. Need I say more? Paired down dialogue. That car chase. And one of the coolest theme tunes in cinema history. Case proved.


My second example is Clint Eastwood. Another man of few words.  He had an economy of movement that earned him the tag of the walking somnambulist. From The Man With No Name to Dirty Harry. A thousand-mile stare and more great theme tunes.  An aside here. My early attempts at being cool involved cutting a hole in a blanket and wearing it as a poncho. Didn’t endear me to my mum very much. That and the condoms in the guttering above the bedroom window. Aside over.

What about literature I hear you ask? Well two people spring to mind. When I try to be cool, at conventions or on panels, I always fall short of the author who makes it all seem so effortless. Lee Child. He never gives the same interview twice and he always sounds so damn laid back. And he’s tall too. At least I’ve got that going for me. In fact if there’s one thing all the above have in common it’s that they’re not short. I can’t recall too many cool dude midgets. In Bruges. No, to be cool I think you’ve got to have the languid movement that only comes with height. None of that powerhouse small man’s syndrome. Like a mate of mine said at my first job. “Big man, big cock. Little man, ALL cock.” Of course he was fairly short himself.





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